Necessities in Life
by peroxidepest17
Summary: Food, shelter and a good ass kicking here and there are all you need.


**Title:** Necessities in Life  
**Universe:** One Piece  
**Theme/Topic: **Fortune/Luck  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairing/Character/s: **Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Luffy  
**Warnings/Spoilers:** For um, the first Grand Jipangue filler?  
**Word Count:** 1,235  
**Summary:** Food, shelter and a good ass kicking here and there are all you need.  
**Dedication: **requested by tokkichan. Also for kotszok for all the help.  
**A/N: **I was too lazy to actually watch the Grand Jipangu fillers so I just asked Kaja about them. LOL Second half of this probably makes no sense because I started it, then got called away to socialize/shop, and then came back and promptly forgot where I'd been going with it initially. LOL so I improvised?  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine, though I wish constantly.  
**Distribution:** Just lemme know.

* * *

"Why is _he_ here, Oyabun?" Nami murmured as she looked at her two new guests, eyebrow twitching.

"It's fine, it's fine, Onami-san!" Luffy assured her with a wide grin, patting his silent friend heartily on the back. "He's not a bad guy!"

She crossed her arms. "I didn't say he was a bad guy. I know he's not. He's a _broke_ guy!" she clarified. And to her, that was probably the worst crime of all. "And you, Oyabun," she added, voice becoming more and more dangerous, "do people who already owe a restaurant so much money have the right to bring in _more_ people who _also_ can't pay for their food? You can't just drag in every strange friend you meet and expect us to give food to him too, you know!"

Luffy sweatdropped. "But Onami-san," he whined, "it's New Years! New Years! You can't turn hungry people down! That's a bad way to start off!"

"It's New Year's _eve_," she pointed out, eyebrow quirking.

"And besides, whatever Onami-swan says goes, Oyabun," Sanji declared, looking down darkly at Luffy as the chef materialized behind his proprietress menacingly, knife in hand.

"Oi," the mysterious monk began, finally deigning to look past the brim of his ridiculous hat as he fixated on the edge of Sanji's weapon with a mixture of wariness and anticipation.

Sanji blinked. "Oi what?" he echoed challengingly, then realized the weirdo was staring at his sushi knife.

The monk took a step forward at the cook's tone, lip curling upwards.

And then he promptly collapsed.

Everyone stared.

A moment.

And then, "What the heck?" Nami cried. "This is bad luck! He can't just fall over in here! What will the customers think?! Someone move the body out of the way! Is he dead?"

Sanji prodded the stranger with his toe. "Oi, stupid monk…are you dead?" No response. He crouched then; brow knitted, and shook the other man roughly with his hand. "You heard Onami-swan! This is bad luck!"

Luffy laughed, sheepishly. "Oh, I forgot to say! I brought him here because hasn't eaten in two weeks!" the lawman chuckled. "Isn't he funny?"

Sanji blinked. "Two _weeks_?" He looked up at his patroness.

She sighed and threw her hands up, knowing what that look from the idiot chef meant. "Fine! Fine! Go ahead! It wasn't like I ever thought I could actually make any money on this place when I bought it!" she ranted, and stormed off to maybe try and convince some of the _paying _customers to order more to make up for the hole Oyabun and his guest were inevitably going to put them in.

"Alright, dinner time!" Luffy whooped—unfazed— and picked his hungry new friend off of the floor enthusiastically.

Sometime later, when everyone was gathered around the New Year's dinner table, Zoro

looked down at the plate in front of him and said, "I don't really like onions."

"YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT!" Nami and Sanji shouted.

Pause.

"AND WEREN'T YOU UNCONSCIOUS JUST NOW?"

Zoro began eating. "A true warrior can overcome any physical handicap," he explained, and picked out his onions one by one.

Sanji snorted and put the onions on his own plate, one by one. "What, so you decided to fast for two weeks to up your physical strength or some bullshit like that?"

Zoro blinked at him. "I was training." Pause. "So I forgot."

A moment. In which Luffy ate ninety-percent of the food on the table.

And then, "YOU FORGOT TO EAT?!"

Zoro blinked again. "I was training hard."

"That's idiotic," the blond scoffed.

The monk smirked around a mouthful of steamed fish. "Someone like you wouldn't understand that kind of training."

Sanji's brow twitched at the insinuation. "Someone like me?"

Nami sighed, already feeling headachy. "Take it outside, Sanji."

The chef grinned. "Hai, Onami-swan!" he agreed, and promptly grabbed the monk by the back of his vest, dragging him out the back door.

Luffy blinked, pausing in his attack on the remaining ten-percent of food on the table. "Wherwe're they gowing?" he asked.

Nami looked at him, dryly. "Out back."

The lawman grinned. "Okay!" and promptly finished off his friends' food for them before asking Nami for seconds.

She bashed him over the head with a plate before storming off to bed—they'd do the dishes in the morning (or rather, the freeloaders would), when it was no longer bad luck to clean.

From the yard, the sounds of rampant destruction lulled her to sleep.

In the morning, the owner of Grand Jipangu's number one restaurant greeted the new year with a rather unladylike shriek.

"_WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!_"

Sanji, sporting a couple of wicked looking bruises and a scratch on one cheek, shrugged irritably. "He says he's stayin'. He'll work for food, a bed, and the chance to train."

Her eye twitched. "_Why_?"

The blond shrugged again. "Beats me. He can start with the dishes as far as I'm concerned though." Pause, smile. "Unless of course, you don't want him here, Onami-swan! Then I'll kick him out right now!"

Nami sighed. "Work for food and shelter, huh?"

"Hai!"

She crossed her arms, eyeing the slouching warrior sitting in the corner of her diner thoughtfully. "Well we could use the help. I'm not cut out for menial labor anyway."

"Of course you're not!" the chef agreed readily, hearts floating in his eyes.

"I can't believe you're this much of a loser and still so strong," Zoro grunted, watching the two's interactions and trying to figure the idiot cook out.

Sanji's demeanor changed instantly at the sound of the stupid monk's stupid voice. "Dishes, busboy!"

Zoro grunted derisively at the order but stood all the same, albeit gingerly. Nami noticed that one of his eyes was nothing more than a massive swollen bruise and he had several foot-shaped ones clearly visible on his arms and along his collarbone. "No matter where you got them, I doubt you picked up your combat skills from washing dishes, cook," he couldn't help but add as he ambled towards the kitchen.

"Everyone starts from the bottom at a restaurant!" Sanji snapped. "Now if you want to figure out how I got so strong from 'being just a cook' get in the back and start washing, asshole."

Zoro sighed. "Whatever. When's lunch?"

Sanji kicked him in the head.

Or _made_ to anyway: the monk dodged at the last minute and took a swipe at the chef that nearly took out the whole back wall of the restaurant with its force.

Sanji sidestepped and made to lunge again, but before he could, Nami snarled and grabbed them both by the backs of their necks, slamming their heads into the floor with a bone-crushing thunk. "_WORK_," she ordered, "and don't make me regret taking you both in. God, what a way to start the year."

Sanji swooned at the order (and the contact). "Hai, Onami-san! Whatever you say!"

Zoro in the meantime, marveled at her as she released them and stormed off to go buy herself a hot bath in order to wash away the dirty start of an inauspicious year and hopefully turn it back into the good one she'd been hoping for.

"Hm," the monk murmured thoughtfully to himself as he watched her go, "the restaurant business must really be a good way to get stronger."

"Of course," Sanji sniffed, and started him off with mopping the floors instead.

**END**


End file.
